Your bridesmaids are your #squad, so celebrating your upcoming nuptials with your favorite females should be one of the most exciting parts of the wedding planning process. But TBH, the road to the altar can sometimes get a little bumpy. We’ve all seen it: the costs adding up, the last-minute wedding dress snafus, the stressful list of big-day to-dos. Being a bridesmaid is no easy task. So just how do you show your appreciation? Be a cool (and thoughtful) bride. Scroll on for 10 tried-and-true tips from real bridesmaids on how to make your bridesmaids love you, no matter what.
1. Set a cohesive theme. But allow bridesmaids to express themselves too. You can request they wear nude shoes, but let them choose the style. Ask them to paint their nails pink, but let them pick their favorite shade. It’s all about letting them be themselves and feeling comfortable while doing so.
2. Thank them. These girls are most likely bending over backward to make sure your wedding day is everything you ever dreamed of, so make sure you acknowledge that. Write them a thoughtful note to accompany their bridesmaids gift. Gifts are nice, but the note will be way more meaningful.
3. Keep them updated. Share as many details as you can with them without being overbearing. This will let them plan travel arrangements, set a budget and figure our their schedules leading up to the big day. Plus, giving bridesmaids a day-of schedule in advance will keep them from bothering you with unnecessary questions. It’s a win-win.
4. Plan a get-together. If your bridesmaids don’t all know each other in advance, try to plan a way for them to meet before they start planning a bridal shower or bachelorette weekend. That way they aren’t hashing out details with a pseudo-stranger via email. It will make things less awkward and way more fun.
5. Create a group Pinterest board. Invite your bridesmaids to a secret Pinterest board with wedding ideas and encourage them to comment on color, flowers, dresses and everything in between. Feel free to also let them pin things they think match your style. That way the planning will feel like a team effort and everyone will get to participate.
6. Consider their finances. Let’s not forget that being a bridesmaid can take a major toll on your bank account. Try celebrating with your girls by doing activities that don’t involve too much cash, like an at-home spa, dinner or wine tasting night. If you can cut travel costs, you can spend more time on some fun QT with your ladies.
7. It’s not all about the wedding. Don’t forget that there are other things going on in your life and in your bridesmaids’ lives. They’ll love hearing about every detail of the wedding planning, but still keep in mind that your friends have lots of other things to think about, and they may need a little support every now and then.
8. Don’t over-preference the MOH: She’s the Amy Poehler to your Tina Fey, and you’ve chosen this girl as your MOH for a reason, but don’t leave the rest of your posse hanging just because you have a few more memories with a specific girl. Treat them all as equals.
9. Put thought into their gift: There’s a reason you’ve chosen these incredible girls to stand by your side, so remind them how lucky you feel to have them in your life. Get them something that truly speaks to their style. Whether it’s gilded totes filled with personalized goodies or a stunning piece of jewelry, it’s guaranteed to brighten their day.
10. Relax and have fun! Don’t forget that the important thing is having your best girlfriends with you on your big day and that not for everything has to be perfect. And if something doesn’t go according to plan, do as the saying goes: keep calm and carry on — with bubbly in hand, of course!